Blog 2 | Fear

It feels good to finish something. I’m setting up my life to experience this every day. I’m becoming aware of what fear feels like, as ungraspable and intangible as it can be. Like trying to catch those floating pieces of white fluff from the cotton wood trees in the summer.

I often hesitate when I create whether it be a Post, a Vlog, a Song or anything else. I justify my hesitation as being valuable to making a refined product. I spend time worrying about quality, formatting, perfecting minute details, and presenting a product representative of my ‘standards’. These are all valid considerations to have in the process of Creation.

But for all of my internal disquisition, the truth is that my hesitation is Fear.

(Even now I’m sitting here trying to get this writing to be ‘perfect’. It’s a slipperly slope; it’s riding a bike, don’t move forward you tip over. But go too fast without checking your balance you crash.)

Fear of what people are going to think, fear of tainting my ‘Reputation’ (as if I’ll ever know what people are thinking about me, if they’re thinking anything at all.) I am just entering the dawn of my life where I’m not incapacitated by that fear. I’m just slipping into an era of creation where I suffocate fear through action.

ACTING is the key. Execution is paramount, I need to remind myself every single day. Letting go of my over thinking is the challenge of my lifetime. Balance your artistry and romanticism, with relentless action. But always sacrifice the former for the latter if it comes to it. This is the binary switch, that has been unprecedented for me. I used to sacrifice action for romanticism. If something wasn’t perfect, I would wait, I would hesitate. I would succumb to fear. This world has no time for hesitation, for trepidation. The world moves faster than ever, and I have the capacity to keep up, if I drop the dead weight of fear. IT FEELS GOOD TO FINISH SOMETHING.